(Special Note: This post must be read as if I am speaking in a perky voice. If you cannot imagine me speaking in a perky tone....don't worry, I can't imagine it either....so imagine someone else reading it perk-ily).
After spending a full, horrible, miserable, fever-ridden, hallucination filled, coughing-snotting-puking week at home, with the dreaded Influenza A, I returned to work today! And it was G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S! Things that usually annoy me or make me mad, made me feel ALIIIIIIIVE!! (think Carol Burnett)
I woke up to a random March snowfall. Was I irritated? Well, yes....but then I put on my snow boots and SKIPPED through it to my car and then I SCRAPED it of my windshield with a SMILE on my face!
8,000 unread emails? That's OKAY!
My office obviously became a dumping ground for items no one else wanted to deal with while I was gone. Did I sigh heavily and think of something snarky to say? Almost! But really I removed each item jolly-ly (I'm making up words, friends) and dumped them in someone else's workspace or threw the items away!!
Bad employees? I will FIRE them!
Unsolicited sales call? I will TRANSFER it!
You couldn't stop what you were doing for 10 additional seconds to wipe off the counters in the breakroom after making your lunch? I will CLEAN it FOR you!!
I've never been so happy to be out of my apartment!
Tomorrow, the universe will go back into it's alignment. Until then, please forgive this ridiculous and possibly still fever-induced post.