Wednesday, July 6, 2011

How to Shoplift a Salad

I do not condone shoplifting salad, nor will I teach you how to do it, I just couldn't think of a better title for this post.  However, I was accused of trying to shoplift a salad today.

On my lunch break, my bff Love It All and I went to Hen House (yes, it's an oddly named, yet very nice supermarket) salad bar.  It was a busy time of day so the salad bar and cafe area were a little chaotic.  Once we finally reached the cash register to pay for our leafy lunches I swiped my card, entered my PIN, hit "No Cash Back", approved the transaction and then walked away after exchanging parting words with the cashier, "Have a good day!".  I walked over to my bff, who was filling up our drinks, and we headed out to find a table. 

Suddenly I heard, "Ma'am.  Ma'am!  MA'AM!" so I turned around to find the cashier rushing toward me.

"Ma'am you STILL have to PAY for that!"   Everyone turned to look.  A little afraid that she was going to try to wrestle me to the ground I followed her back to the register and calmly explained that I had already paid.  Her response was, "Well you have to pay for it.  You can't just take it."

. . . I'm aware of that!  I mean, for real! If I really wanted to steal a salad I wouldn't have bothered standing in a long line for 5 minutes only to get to the cash register and then walk away. Crazy. Lady.  I would have taken advantage of the chaotic situation, made my salad and snuck through the aisles of the grocery store

until I reached the exit.  More importantly, I wouldn't ever try to steal a salad, or anything else for that matter!

So, in an effort to clear my name, I swiped my card again, went through all the steps and she was finally happy.  Snarky, but happy.  "See?  You had to go through all those screens for it to be final."

"I did.  The first time."

She ignored me.  "Now it went through." 

"Yep.  Again.  Because it went through the first time."

Tomorrow I will be taking a screen shot of my bank statement, with the duplicate debiting of funds, to Hen House.  And then I will teach a small child how to properly shoplift a salad and then I will kick a puppy.  Cuz that's how I roll....apparently.

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