Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Sob Monster

Oh my goodness, I have turned into a Sob Monster. I remember thinking it was so weird, when I was younger, when adults would cry at programs, concerts, etc. I thought, Alright homies, all I did was sing a song and read a Bible verse. What's with the tears? Pull yourself together!  However, I have recently been seen crying while a bunch of four year olds sang about Jonah and the Whale....the same song I had seen performed last year. 

Friday night, I innocently went to a special church service and sat with two young ladies who are very important to me, Ash and Sades.  I knew during this special service that they would be singing with a group so I was like, This is cool.  I've known these girls since they were toddlers.

  So, it was time for them to go to the front of the church to perform and I stood up to let them out of the pew.  Suddenly, a memory flashed in front of me.  I saw a 14 year old me stepping out of the pew to lead a bunch of toddlers to the front of the church for their portion of the bible school program.  Ash and Sades were two of those toddlers.  Time flies.....  I sat back down and listened to the song, watched as they signed the lyrics, too, and then I turned into a Sob Monster.  It started with teary eyes and led to streaming tears and maybe a little of the weird sputtery breathing when you are trying to control a semi-out of control cry in public (and keep your eye make up from running).  For the whole rest of the song I was watching these two beautiful and well rounded young ladies, who are now 17, sacrificing their time to sing in church, joyfully.

I loved them as toddlers, I became their friend when they were 14, the year I was reunited with them as their church camp counselor, and now I realize how quickly they have arrived on the brink of adulthood.  I am proud of them!  I am a little mad at them for turning me into a Sob Monster, especially in public, but I will get back at them later.
What I didn't understand as a kid, that I absolutely understand now, is that the tears are an expression of love, of joy, and the realization that life changes so quickly.  For me,  I watched Sades and Ash sing to God.  I saw what the words meant to them.  I see and experience, on a regular basis, how amazing they are in how they treat people, how deeply they love, how laid back they are, and how much they love Jesus.  I'm proud to be a part of their lives and watch them grow, even if it does turn me into one of those weird Sob Monster adults.


  1. Comment from Facebook:

    Sadi Cochran:

    I totally just cried at this. I'm so sorry if we turned you into a sob monster. ;) On a more serious note, I don't remember when I was three, but I am glad we reconnected of a sort when Ash and I were 14. You have been such an awesome friend and a great mentor. Spiritually and not-so-spiritually. Thank you for always being there.

  2. Jess, isn't it great when God softens our hearts with so much love that we cry in order to release some of the enormity of it? Beautiful. My first experience like this was when I hired a young man who looked so familiar to me but I couldn't place him; then realized he had been a kindergartener when I was a senior and was in my "Share" class. (Kind of like Big Cats now but all seniors did it)