Oh my goodness, I have turned into a Sob Monster. I remember thinking it was so weird, when I was younger, when adults would cry at programs, concerts, etc. I thought, Alright homies, all I did was sing a song and read a Bible verse. What's with the tears? Pull yourself together! However, I have recently been seen crying while a bunch of four year olds sang about Jonah and the Whale....the same song I had seen performed last year.
Friday night, I innocently went to a special church service and sat with two young ladies who are very important to me, Ash and Sades. I knew during this special service that they would be singing with a group so I was like, This is cool. I've known these girls since they were toddlers.
So, it was time for them to go to the front of the church to perform and I stood up to let them out of the pew. Suddenly, a memory flashed in front of me. I saw a 14 year old me stepping out of the pew to lead a bunch of toddlers to the front of the church for their portion of the bible school program. Ash and Sades were two of those toddlers. Time flies..... I sat back down and listened to the song, watched as they signed the lyrics, too, and then I turned into a Sob Monster. It started with teary eyes and led to streaming tears and maybe a little of the weird sputtery breathing when you are trying to control a semi-out of control cry in public (and keep your eye make up from running). For the whole rest of the song I was watching these two beautiful and well rounded young ladies, who are now 17, sacrificing their time to sing in church, joyfully.
I loved them as toddlers, I became their friend when they were 14, the year I was reunited with them as their church camp counselor, and now I realize how quickly they have arrived on the brink of adulthood. I am proud of them! I am a little mad at them for turning me into a Sob Monster, especially in public, but I will get back at them later.
What I didn't understand as a kid, that I absolutely understand now, is that the tears are an expression of love, of joy, and the realization that life changes so quickly. For me, I watched Sades and Ash sing to God. I saw what the words meant to them. I see and experience, on a regular basis, how amazing they are in how they treat people, how deeply they love, how laid back they are, and how much they love Jesus. I'm proud to be a part of their lives and watch them grow, even if it does turn me into one of those weird Sob Monster adults.