Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know ALL About You

Here's an extreme, all emcompassing, automatically-negative-thought:  I almost always regret getting to know people.  It's true.  I have realized that I have a good, core group of friends that were established years ago and the older I get the less friends I gain that fall into the good, core status.  There have been maybe two in four years.

So if you have recently become an acquaintance of mine, don't take offense to this statement.  If we're still communicating in some way I don't yet regret getting to know you :)  We might not end up BFFs but more than likely we'll continue to be friends/acquaintances and the rest of the post won't apply to you.

Maybe I should soften my statement to: I almost always regret getting to know people because typically they just end up being lunatics that you have to nicely avoid later (or maybe not nicely, in some situations).  It makes situations like this, with seemingly normal new acquaintances, awkward:

New acquaintance:  "Well, this was fun!  We like a lot of the same stuff....we should hang out again."

This sounds fun and promising but experience has taught me that when/if we hang out again more than likely this person will be a total contradiction, a weirdo, or clingy. Very rarely does making new friends in your late 20s work out like it did in elementary school.  "We have the same favorite color!  Yeah!"  BFFs for life!  or at least through the school year.  So I automatically resort to vague, conservative answers, such as:

Me:  "Yes, it was fun.  It would be cool to hang out again....someday.  Gosh, but when?  We're both so busy....."  In my head this statement actually sounds like this:  "MLEHHHHHHHH.  Too.Much.Effort. Just to be disappointed.  Mleh again."

I know I sound mean, but really I'm not.  I'm extremely frustrated that people waste one another's time pretending to be awesome and then turning out to be cuh-razy.  This is frustrating mainly because I end up being the person who has to "break up" with that person and it usually effects me recreationally---well, can't go there anymore.  Gotta switch my schedule a bit to avoid the crazies. . .possibly change my number and quit my job.  Mleh.

1 comment:

  1. Comments from Facebook:
    Charity Berwick:
    Hehe! Hmmm, I feel safe for now since we've never actually met. Although I am DEFINITELY crazy so idk! Are these new people ones coming into your life on their own- latching on to you? Or are they people you see, love something about and go up to meet and begin a relationship? Just curious because you sound ALOT like my husband in this post- are you more of an Introvert? AJ has had the same friends since age 5. I kid you not. And when people single him out they generally end up being Really Scary. And he hardly bothers with new people unless I'm like "hey, that person looks way cool!" And so far none of those have been crazies. In fact some of his best friends are people he wouldn't even have noticed until I pointed them out as potential kindred spirits. In other words, no Me and he'd have just the very same old core group. It's interesting now to wonder- do your new people experiences generally parallel his...? Tell us more please! :P

    Mark E. Hill:
    Your not gonna quit coming to church are ya? I really like seeing you there. I think you are a great young lady. However that might be a crazy statement. jk. I do like seeing you at church.

    Amy Moser:
    Ummm....I thought crazy WAS what we have in common hahahahaah seriously i love you and I can not WAIT to see you! I'm sorry I stopped texting the other night. I was on total brain overload

    Mind of ME:
    Charity- Yes, I mean people who I have newly met, who seem reasonably sane, who end up latching themselves to me and become disturbing and, as you say, really scary.

    Mark- I will still come to church :) Church is family, everybody is pretty much grandfathered in

    Amy- this is a whole different kind of crazy :)

    Amy Moser Oh okay...haha I was gettin worried

    Terry Hart:
    I think it gets better as you get older ... (as "they" get older maybe?) ... but you are right to protect your time and energy. Superficial friendships are real energy drainers and time-wasters ... life's just too short.