Monday, July 22, 2013

Guess what? I'm a Step Mom. . .and I totally forgot about this blog!

I'm a step mom, with motherly responsibilities 99% of the time

I'm a step mom to two teenage girls, an Idaho transplant, a wife-to-be, and a remote employee who travels frequently.  By the time I reach a point (if I reach a point) where I can sit down and write, I'm so tired that I start to wonder what is writing?  What are words?  Nap.  So, those are all my excuses for having abandoned my wonderful little blog.

I am a step-mom, but this weekend the realization that I am needed for mom type activities hit me.  Hit is not the right word.  It was more like the feeling of being on a rollercoaster at the point when you've endured the scary straight-down-at-the-ground drop. Just as your screaming dies down you realize you survived that scary drop and then the cart swoops up and launches you into the next turn or hill or upside down loop.  It's that split second moment that I'm talking about, after the falling and screaming, and before the next section of the coaster.  You're floating in your seat, elated that the fall is over and excited for what's next. You aren't totally sure if the next bend will be scary or exciting but you're willing to take the chance because you've made it this far. Honestly, you're already strapped in to the cart, totally committed to seeing it through, and if you jump out now you will die.  That analogy maybe went to the extreme, but you get my drift.

Being a step-mom is obviously not a 30 second commitment but the intensity of a rollercoaster ride best describes the quick and ever changing situations, emotions, and feeling of loss of control that comes with the role.  I'm sure that this is true for all mothers (and fathers) and all stages of child rearing.  For me, the tiniest of positive moments gives me a rush.  They like me!  They really like me!
That rush sustains me through the scary plummets.

This week I sent the girls off to camp.  I helped set up their cabins, I left little notes, I whispered little hints to their counselors, and they both hugged me good-bye. A few times, I  noticed them excitedly bound toward me (in one instance it was obvious hopping) and rattle on and on about the upcoming week, seeing their friends, and the cool cabin decorations.  They ran excitedly up to ME.   It's the little things, I guess. 

Today, ironically, I am planning a family trip to an amusement park where we are sure to enjoy some real rollercoasters.

Kim, this post is for you.  Thank you for blog stalking me and for reminding me that I have a blog. 

The end.  No kids + no fiance x hotel room all to myself in my hometown= I'm going out with friends and then going to bed early!