Sunday, July 26, 2015

The House I Live In

This house has sheltered me for a little over a year now and during that time it has taken on a slow transition from man cave to something lighter, brighter, and more neutral with the goal to a) not curl up in a ball of depression from all the dark colors and hideous furniture and b) to sell it and move to a place of our own where the history starts fresh and in a location that fits us.  We want to be closer to the city versus out here in farmville.

Unfortunately, I am more logical and practical than my desires.  The remodeling is taking longer than expected because of life and because I don't like to rush things nor do I like to spend money.  I have been hating the fact that I have to live here for an undetermined amount of time and that we've stopped house hunting.  I used to sit in a room and think, 'I hate this room.  If I were staying here permanently it wouldn't be so dull, but we need to decorate for a future buyer so I have to live with it for X number of years.'  The pessimism built up until I didn't like hanging out with myself.  I was super annoying.  So, I decided to do what I coach employees to do when they are fed up with a co-worker and the issue really isn't anything more than a personality conflict: find three positive things about that person, or in this case, about each room of my house.

I didn't go to each room and write down three things, rather I have been allowing myself to just live there.  Someone might buy this house in  one, three, maybe seven years, but I don't have to live like they already own it.  Walls can be painted again, furniture can be rearranged, and until we actually show the house the only taste  I need to worry about is my own.  This has resulted in feeling excited about changes I get to make to the house and projects my husband and I can work on together.  I don't hate this house anymore!  As days go by and I put my stamp on it here and there, the lingering history also fades and is replaced with peace.